Reason#14 They Change Your Mind

It's two and a half days before spring break and my students are driving me crazy. Correction, some of my students are driving me crazy. Correction, Carter is driving me crazy. All year long we have been working diligently with Carter. He has received pull out support services, after school tutoring, before school tutoring, lunch time tutoring. I conference with him in reading twice as often as everyone else. Despite all this, he still is not moving in reading. This probably has something to do with the fact that when he is not getting one-on-one support he is coloring, staring out the window, talking to a neighbor, digging through his desk, taking off his shoes, leaning backward in his chair, trying to check out new books, trying to go to the bathroom, and/or trying to do anything that isn't reading. This is irritating on its own, but also because it shows a distinct lack of gratitude for all the incredible ways that I am being such an awesome teacher by going above and beyond to meet his needs. (Yes, I can be this petty.)

I get it. We have had some very tearful conversations together in which he has confessed his humiliation about the fact that he struggles with reading. I've tried being the good cop who smiles, encourages every effort, and celebrates every progress. I often default to bad cop and take away his recess, other privileges, and remind him that he needs to pass more reading tests to pass the grade. There has been progress, but considering the support, it has been minimal.

Meanwhile, Carter has been stealing things from my classroom, lying about stealing, harassing other students, CONSTANTLY talking, and of course, avoiding work. The regular blog readers may also remember him for his previous antics of punching another student in the stomach for writing a "bully ticket" about him. For those of you who are the diagnosing type--I know. It's work avoidance and stems from a lot of social emotion problems about which I can most often be very compassionate and understanding. But it's also so annoying. Especially two and a half days before a much needed break from one another.

In an effort to engage him in work yet again, I decided to invite him and a friend to game time on Wednesdays. Every Wednesday we are now playing games together during lunch. Having received an awesome Donor's Choose Grant, I now have thirty board games in my classroom that allow students to practice reading, science, and math skills with almost every game that Lakeshore Learning provides. The grant is incredible, but I digress. Carter and his friend came up today to play the word blending game, Tiki Challenge. As I was pulling out the board game, Carter said to me, "Ms. Swanson, you're the best teacher ever."

OK, I'm a primary teacher and we hear these things a lot. In fact, I have at least six cards taped to my wall right now that share a similar sentiment. It's sweet, but most often fleeting. Carter's friend kind of snickered, so I said back, "Why, because I let you play games during lunch."

"No, Ms. Swanson, because you care about me. You're like my mother is to me. You're like my mom."

It's moments like that when the fatigue and stress of a busy month intersect with the weighty and sacred responsibility of helping to shape a child's life. And I realize just how lucky I am to have Carter in my classroom. Even when he refuses to do his work and instead swings his arms around until someone near him gets stabbed with his pencil. Today I got a reality check and Carter changed my mind.

And for the record, my students are like my children to me. Even the Carters.